Writing Challenge #27

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WEEKLY CHALLENGE #27

  1. WRITE:  Using 200 words or less, write a scene that shows a major changing point in your character’s personality.

2. COMMENT: You MUST comment on FOUR other entries to qualify. If you do not, your entry will be disqualified from the challenge. Give and take… Keep the cycle going.

3. IMPORTANT In order to qualify, you MUST vote for your TOP TWO choices. If you don’t vote, you cannot win this challenge (even if you receive the most votes!). To vote, you need to reply to the email that goes out for the Weekly Challenges. In that email, if you scroll to the bottom, you will see all the information you need to vote for this challenge.

You must join our mailing list in order to receive the weekly voting email. 

4. DEADLINE: Tuesday, October 11th at 11:59 p.m. PST. Voting booth will open for this challenge on Wednesday, October 12th, and the winners will be announced the following Wednesday, October 19th.

CONGRATULATIONS: To the winners of Challenge #25… Lina Rehal, Tim Hillebrant and RissRyker!

THIS CHALLENGE IS OPEN TO ALL MEMBERS!

Have fun!


Author Notes

35 Comments for “Writing Challenge #27”

says:

Grace sat waiting in room 310 for her husband to come back upstairs from another test he was having. This MRI, what would it show them anyway? She thought a while, then prayed a while, then tried to just rest her mind. Rest wouldn’t come. What could it be? Why couldn’t the doctors do more than they were? Grace took comfort in the fact that her hubby had an IV pumping him full of the strongest antibiotic the hospital was allowed to administer. Waiting was awful, she wanted to think of happier times instead of just sitting in this hospital room.

Her mind wandered over their 45 years together. There were good times and bad, but the good always outweighed the bad. The kids were grown and gone, and some of their happiest times were riding in the car. They enjoyed going new places, seeing new scenery and meeting new people.

Grace snapped her fingers. That’s it! I’ll talk to Sam as soon as he gets back up here. Why should we just exist to pay living expenses staying in one spot? We can sell everything and go on the road. We can become full time RVers! It’ll be awesome!

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

You describe The 45 year relationship between Grace and her husband so well in just a few words., Marcia. Waiting in the hospital while a loved one is having tests is as stressful as you wrote it. Grace is portrayed as a wise woman as she weighs the situation and decides to build on the positivity. Nice job. Mary

says:

Exerpt from a novel in progress, “Antiphon-Voice Key to the Universe”

Trin struggled to reach the highest notes. His voice simply would not stretch that far. This last year had been unbearable in his voice training, as Master Khoury was constantly forcing him to extend his vocal range, and all it seemed to have done was damage it. There were days he could barely talk, much less sing. He was clearing his throat constantly, and his voice was breaking when he spoke.

“Enough! Enough!” he screamed at his teacher. “This isn’t working! That, or I’m just not the true Antiphon.”

“We must extend your range, Trin,” the voice master said encouragingly. “Your tone is exquisite, your expression sublime, but your range is too small to reach the ears of the Ancient Ones. Don’t give up, we can do this!”

“Maybe you’re wrong, Master Khoury,” Trin’s pale face exploded with color and fire. With long hurried strides he circled Master Khoury, throwing his arms into the air,and facing him. “Maybe it’s not the height of the tone but the timbre that is most important. What about overtones? What about harmonics? All I know is that my voice can’t take anymore of this abuse. I’m out of here!”

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

Very well written scene with Trin starting to question his teacher and rely on his own thoughts! The entire concept of the novel in progress appeals to my imagination, Becky. Trin’s gradual realization that he needs to rescue himself is well described. Nice write. Mary

says:

Thank you for such high praise, Mary. This is definitely a turning point where Trin can no longer abide by Master Khoury’s guidance any longer. He must seek out the previous Antiphon, Shahid, to teach him now. If, Shahid is still alive. I need to continue on this novel. I’ve gotten stuck at a point where I need to describe a creature in the desert that Trin will encounter on his quest. I have a science fiction factor in this fantasy, and it is holding me up. I need to get my facts straight and research more. Thanks so much for your encouragement!

Becky

says:

Good one Becky! I like it that Trin stood up for himself. Made me think of one of my favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Way to go girl!

says:

And, this book is all about that…young people learning to be themselves in amazing ways…thanks so much for reading, Marcia. Your words give me encouragement to push forward on this novel.

Becky

Tim Hillebrant

says:

**Warning- sensitive subject matter, and some mild language**

Lying there in the dark, eyes wet from unshed tears, Echo watched Tommy as he lay sleeping. As his chest rose and fell with regularity, she thought long and hard about her convictions, wondering if it wasn’t time to change them.

After everything that happened to her, the rapes, the resulting depression, and the pain she lived in day in and out, here was Tommy. He never pushed her, or asked more than she could give. Even tonight, when she needed him to stop what they were doing, her fears, memories, and pain seething up to the surface, he did. He stopped kissing her and just held Echo, arms wrapped protectively around her. She loved that he respected her needs. She loved Tommy even more, and felt a desire to physically express that love to him.

Echo resolved then and there, that her feelings for Tommy were enough, that she could try and be intimate with him. She would try and put aside all the crap those bastards put her through, long enough to just be with the man she loved. He’d more than earned it, and she knew he would understand.

says:

This is a truly well-written scene that displays the emotions and thought processes of Echo so vividly and acutely! Excellent writing, Tim! The turning point is beautifully done and very clear to see.

Write On!
Becky

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

A touching picture here, Tim. Echo’s emotions sensitively described. The story had me admiring Tommy’s obvious patience and feelings for Echo, and her courage. You showed the beginning stages of her healing. Well written. Mary

says:

Sweet, sensitive story Tim, you old romantic you! Echo is struggling with unbearable, unspeakable pain inflicted on her; not of her own making and courageously trying to cope. Her knight in shining armor, Tommy comes along and loves her just as she is. What a great story!

Carol Moore

says:

In Toni’s bathroom she was putting her makeup on and smearing it all over her face. “I am not wearing this junk on my face,” she said loudly.
“Sis let me do it. Calm down!” Katy said.
“What about Margie doesn’t she need your help,” asked Toni.
“No Carla has her taken care of in my place she wanted to do something special for Margie and so this is Margie’s surprise for today. Set still and I will fix your makeup and hair. I love you.”
“Thank you, Katy, I love you too,” Toni responded. “I am a little nervous.”
“A little nervous the people on a sinking ship aren’t as nervous as you are right now,” said Katy.
“I am having sex tonight and I am scared,” Toni replied.
“Just relax and have fun, remember that he loves you,” Katy said.
“Mommy! Are you ever going to be ready,” yells Raven
“I guess I had better get into my dress,” Toni said. “Raven I am coming.”

says:

Nice one Carol! Sounds like the typical melee that surround a woman preparing for her wedding day. All the ladies gather round trying to help and the bride is a nervous wreck. Well described and good dialogue. Even her daughter chimes in!

says:

Very nice scene here, Carol. You clearly describe what Toni is going through as she gets ready for her date, and the nervous energy shines through in various ways through the dialogue as she contemplates the night’s events. Great job on this.

Becky

Anisa Claire

says:

Elodie cast her eyes upon the rippling reflection in the water. Soft grey eyes peered back at her, only she knew her own were emerald green. A sickness rolled through her, as she touched her cheek. The skin was rough and largely scarred. Ever so slowly, the stream stilled, revealing the familiar face of the creature she so despised… Tievel.

A memory surged, and Elodie slipped into a trance. The Druid’s soothing voice whispered in her head, warning her about the price of magic. He’d pleaded with Elodie not to travel the same road he did. But Elodie didn’t listen. Rage drove her to this madness and now she wished, if only for a second, she’d listened to the Druid. In that moment, Elodie longed for his gentle touch; a glimpse into her lost humanity.

Standing from her kneeling position, Elodie turned to walk away, pausing to adjust to her new body. She’d never skin walked before and had no idea how long the spell would last. The longer she stayed in Tievel’s form, the more of him cursed through her veins. Elodie could feel parts of her awaken she had no clue existed. Tievel’s power, far darker than her own, slowly but surely began to consume her.

Tim Hillebrant

says:

Hey Anisa,

I really liked the voice you used in this bit of writing. It lends a kind of heartfelt look at Elodie’s feelings over what she’s gone/going through. Sounds like it’s a race against time before Tievel’s power consumes her.

Typo? The longer she stayed in Tievel’s form, the more of him c(o)ursed through her veins.

Well done,

Tim

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

Fascinating mythology here, Anisa. Never knew about skin-walking. Your description of Elodie’s transformation into Tievel is perfect. Some mysterious threads here about her feelings for him. She remembers his soothing voice warning her, and his gentle touch, yet he seems terribly evil. I want to know more about their relationship and the rage that drove her to practice magic. Nice write.

says:

ohh, spooky! Very imaginative and creative, Anisa. Wonder what made her want to dabble into the magic that the Druid warned against? And why does she have to turn into someone she despises? So many unanswered questions to be explored. Makes you wanna read more!

says:

This sounds like a very cool story in progress, Anisa. I love her name, Elodie. Elodie’s motives and what she has done unfold beautifully in this section, and it is clear she has made her choice to play with dark magic. Very nice piece, and very intriguing!

A few nits:

– A sickness rolled through her[,] as she touched her cheek. (I don’t think you need this comma)

– Ever so slowly[,] the stream stilled, revealing the familiar face of the creature she so despised… Tievel. (Might not need this comma)

-skin walked (skin-walked)

-The longer she stayed in Tievel’s form, the more of him [cursed](coursed) through her veins.

I want to read more…
Write On!
Becky

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