Writing Challenge #19

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WEEKLY CHALLENGE #19

  1. WRITE:  We’ve done opening line challenges before, but this one is a little bit different. The challenge is to write an opening line to start a story or poem you would you would like to continue with the intention of submitting for publication consideration.  Post your opening story or poem line in the comments below!

Writer’s Carnival has a lot of great opportunities for members and we’re hoping this will encourage you all to write and consider submitting your stories and poems for potential paid publication opportunities in A Long Story Short, Reader’s Carnival and Color On! Magazine.

It is NOT a requirement to submit your story or poem to any magazine, but simply meant to get you thinking in that direction. Of course, you are more than welcome to submit if you would like to. If your piece is rejected, don’t be be discouraged. This is all part of the process of being a writer. Just remember to keep your chin up and try, try again.

Also, we’re (for the first time ever!) opening the paid possibilities up to EVERYONE by offering a one month free upgrade.  So, if you’re not an upgraded member, head over to our upgrade page, select the $7.99 One Month option, and then put in the coupon code SIGNUPBONUS to upgrade your account for free. The coupon will bring the price of the account down to $0.00

Registration page is here: https://www.writerscarnival.ca/register/

Check out A Long Story Short and Reader’s Carnival here: www.alongstoryshort.net

Also, check out Color On! Magazine here: www.coloronmag.com

Check out everything your new upgraded account will get you here: https://www.writerscarnival.ca/free-one-month-upgrade/

2. COMMENT: You MUST comment on FOUR other entries to qualify. If you do not, your entry will be disqualified from the challenge. Give and take… Keep the cycle going.

3. IMPORTANT In order to qualify, you MUST vote for your TOP TWO choices. If you don’t vote, you cannot win this challenge (even if you receive the most votes!). To vote, you need to reply to the email that goes out for the Weekly Challenges. In that email, if you scroll to the bottom, you will see all the information you need to vote for this challenge.You must join our mailing list in order to receive the weekly voting email. 

4. DEADLINE: Tuesday, August 2nd at 11:59 p.m. PST. Voting booth will open for this challenge on Wednesday, August 3rd, and the winners will be announced the following Wednesday, August 10th.

CONGRATULATIONS: To the winners of Challenge #17… Rebecca Braun, Michele Hinton and M.L. Bull!

THIS CHALLENGE IS OPEN TO ALL MEMBERS!

Have fun!

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Author Notes

188 Comments for “Writing Challenge #19”

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

Lyn had always used her hands to heal, but that night, in the dark alley, it took two cops to pry them from around her attacker’s neck.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good morning, Mary

Excellent opening line. The Doctor Jykel and Mr. Hyde approach piques one’s interests. Well done.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

Marcia Yearwood

says:

Mary this grabs you for sure! Wow, don’t wanna mess with that lady. Makes me wanna know what happened and why. Good write.

Jay Heltzer

says:

Lyn sounds like a healer – nurse, Doctor, massage therapist. Instead she is using her gift for something entirely different, but equally as important (?). Well done!

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

Thank you all so much for voting to give my entry first place. It is a huge honor to receive from this talented group of writers. Simply put, I am delighted!
Mary

charles stone

says:

Each day is the same; after parking his late model Lexus in the alley
the man sits on the bench in the small parklet.

Links to the story:

https://wp.me/p7fj6m-IN
https://wp.me/p7fj6m-IO – part 2

Jay Heltzer

says:

Is this day going to be the same or will a change in routine change his life forever? Good start. I think, regardless on which way this goes (haven’t followed the link to the story yet), if it’s about the banality of the regular routine, you can paint a blander picture, same ol’, same ol’, but this time… (dum dum DUMMMMM). 😉

Marcia Yearwood

says:

Behind these prison walls I sit
All alone and lonely
Not depressed but feeling empty

says:

Good one! Makes me wonder if the person is really in prison or if it’s a metaphor for something else. His/her own personal prison?
Lina

Marcia Yearwood

says:

Thanks Lina, glad you enjoyed it! You have some interesting thoughts about where the poem is heading. I plan to post all of it later. Thanks again for your encouraging words!

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

It does sound as if the prison walls are emotional. Makes me wonder if the writer is feeling helpless or sad, and what will happen. Nice.

Marcia Yearwood

says:

Thanks Mary! I have now posted the entire piece in the current Poetry contest if you’d like to read it.

says:

On Angels wings you were taken away

Jay Heltzer

says:

Harrison always says that having me as his special friend is more fun than a box of worms, which doesn’t make sense since he is deathly afraid of them, and it doesn’t seem like much fun for the worms either.

says:

A friend who has to be kept in a box has a lot of characters. Mayb e getting into problems is one.

Jay Heltzer

says:

Although the sentence isn’t about being in a box, later on, the MC talks about hiding in one. Getting into problems though..hmmm, you’re giving me good stuff to work with. Thanks Claudine.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good morning, Jay

Intriguing to say the least. The motives and answered questions play well for your character. Enjoyed.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

Jay Heltzer

says:

Thank you Ray. Been a while since I’ve been excited about a story to flesh out, and this time Harrison and his friend are giving me great promise.

Marcia Yearwood

says:

hmm, seems Harrison doesn’t really value his friend much. Better than worms? I can picture it though having raised 2 boys of my own. Write on.

Jay Heltzer

says:

Harrison is (so far) a typical young boy turning into a young man. Quite the contrary, the MC is one of Harrison’s favorites. I figure boys know a few things about worms and boxes. Thanks Marcia!

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

Sounds as if there are two little boys involved in this story.
I’m curious about it.

Jay Heltzer

says:

Harrison is the boy, and the MC…actually, I haven’t quite figured out what he is, but they do have a special relationship…for now. thanks Mary!

says:

I never knew love would taste so sweet.
Us laying there cheek to cheek.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good morning, Claudine

Even at my age such sweet feelings and memories. Enjoyed.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

says:

A fog, so thick that you could almost grab a handful and roll it up into a ball, engulfed the night, blotting out everything and muffling all sounds save for the eerie clicking noise behind me.

Jay Heltzer

says:

Great setting. The fog description is a mouthful, but very picturesque. I love the handful…ball part, but you could drop that section and it would still work. “A fog so thick engulfed the night…” It gives you so much to work with though, and plenty for the reader to paint in their mind. Great!

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good afternoon, Michele

Excellent hook with potential for an opening to a horror or mystery SS. Well done.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

says:

For any reason, I am uncomfortable being the center of attention of weeping women, weeping old men, sniveling young men and women and crying kids.

says:

Sounds like possibly this person would be someone that people gravitate to, to tell their problems to whether he/she wanted to hear it or not. Perhaps a shrink who chose the wrong profession.

says:

Michele, You are on the right track. This politician has done such a good job in his small New England town that his townspeople sending him off at the train station for an upgraded job simply do not want him to go. This story is a gem if I do say so. Thanks for your comments.

Jay Heltzer

says:

Right out of the gate, someone who we are interested in and not too impressed with. No empathy for the fellow man…and then you mention they are a politician. Wow. Great conflict up front. Reading it with the Writers Carnival microscope, were your specifics and groupings intentional? Weeping women vs old men (not young). Sniveling men and women? I sensed a rhythmic pattern and wondered if it was intentional. Love the interesting character!

says:

This politician has done an amazing job in his small hick town. The townspeople have claimed him for their own. They do not want to lose him even for a better opportunity. As the story progresses he makes a good decision.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good afternoon, Patricia

Excellent opening for an individual who want’s no contact with this segment of humanity or maybe, after untold years a shrink’s regret(s).

Enjoyed.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

Tim Hillebrant

says:

Sounds like a good story, Patricia.
I see a person who doesn’t stand for poor me, but more the okay, this is your mess, what are you going to do about it type. Good for shrinks, counselors, cops, and even a politician or two. Nicely done!!

Marcia Yearwood

says:

Sounds like a grumpy old man to me! Does make me wonder though where this story is headed. Write on.

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

My first thought is that you are at your own wake and mad as hell because you’re dead. Interesting first line.

says:

Mary, I really like your perspective. Now that would make a great humorous story. I have in mind a good politician about to embark on another job in a new town. His townspeople don’t want him to go. They are giving him a crying reception at the train station. The story develops with an interesting twist.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

During the third solar war, Cerberus Enterprises, the foremost weapons research and manufacturing conglomerate, had watched its profits soar, easily doubling what it had amassed during the first two solar wars, but now with only minor intra clan wars in the Deesian Solar System, coupled with military cutbacks and cancelled contracts, CE’s stock quotes had reached an all time low.

says:

It’s good and a good opening for a story. However, it’s a rather long sentence. I’d cut it to two or three shorter ones. There are a lot of directions you can go with this beginning. Write on!
Lina

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

God morning, Lina

thank you for the input as it’s appreciated. I agree the sentence is long, but I wanted to provide enough information about the SS to pique one’s interest.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

says:

Ray, I feel like I’m on the Enterprise in Star Wars about to embark on a new adventure. I agree with Lina about the length and it certainly caught my interest. Definitely write on!

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good morning, Patricia

Thanks for your input as it’s appreciated. As with Lina, the sentence is long, but I felt I would be unable to provide enough info in a shorter sentence.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

Jay Heltzer

says:

Ray, another impressive entry. I love the clarity of your writing voice. I have to agree with Lina that there is too much up front – either the length or the aggressive sounding word choice. Lots to chew in the opening sentence. I certainly know the challenge of having it make sense for this weeks challenge. It may work better in the context of a book however. Well done.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good morning, Jay

Thank you for the input as it’s always appreciated. Yeah, the sentence is more than a tad long but I didn’t quite know how to condense it yet provide the info that I wanted to present to the reader.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

Tim Hillebrant

says:

An interesting, and very good, beginning to your story. I’m reminded of “The Company” that’s referred to in the movies Alien(s) and Avatar. I would love to continue reading this.

Tim

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good morning, Tim

Thanks for your input as it’s always appreciated. I’m beginning to get writer’s block concerning the novel, so I will probably post some SS in the near future.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

Marcia Yearwood

says:

I like it, Ray! However I feel information over-load. Does sound like a good beginning though. Write on.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good morning, Marcia

Thanks for your input. Probably should have used a shorter sentence.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

charles stone

says:

Haha, Ray, good job of stretching a sentence; masterful. There is a bunch of info here and I can see an evil corporation doing going in several direction. Write on.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good morning, Charles

Thanks for your input as it’s always appreciated.

take care and stay safe,

Ray

Tim Hillebrant

says:

The power of heartbreak, true heartbreak, is a vastly underrated thing.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good afternoon, Tim

Interesting premise ‘heartbreak’, and though it has similar aspects for all who have experienced it, no two experiences are ever the same. Well done.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

Jay Heltzer

says:

Tim, you speak the truth. Something that every reader can relate to. “Underrated” makes it sound like there is a positive underline to the story. Can’t wait to see what it’s about.

Marcia Yearwood

says:

Well done Tim! Everyone can relate at one time or another. Be interested to see how this love story pans out. Write on.

Mary Cooney-Glazer

says:

This conveys so much feeling into a pragmatic statement. The cadence is perfect. I want the story. Good work.

says:

Jenna was in the basement, putting away Christmas decorations, when she heard what sounded like two gunshots coming from somewhere in the house.

charles stone

says:

Christmas and gunshots don’t usually go together. Reads intriguing. It could be a murder-suicide; those happen around the holidays. Write on.

Raymond Tobaygo

says:

Good afternoon, Lina

Gun shots coming from someplace in your house is unnerving, but when it’s on Christmas….? Well done.

take care and stay safe,

Ray

says:

Lina, I picture an old estate house with a sizeable family gathering days after Christmas Agatha Christie style. It’s your first line and you have a lot of possibilities. Write on!

says:

Thank you Patricia. I have no idea where I might go with this. I’m not usually a mystery writer. I do romance. Not sure I could turn this into a romance story.
Lina

says:

Nice suspense. Shades of a gruesome Christmas Story. Hopefully a kid didn’t shoot his eye out with a BB gun. Lol In stead of a murder mystery, it could be a comedy. Target practicing in the house with the gun a kid got for Christmas which leads to a comedy of mishaps?

Carol Moore

says:

Sam and Mavis sat talking.
“I can’t believe that doctor said you are pregnant at eighty, Mavis.”

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