Waiting

muffled voices

a lone redhead sits

empty glass to hand

Muffled voices

A lone redhead

empty glass

muffled voices sound

a lone redhead waits for now

empty glass to hand


Author Notes

These are three Senryu I did early on when writing this style please let me know which one resonates the best and why. The first is of course my first attempt and is my favourite but I always went back to it and made some changes

8 Comments for “Waiting”

Gregory Shipman

says:

Hi Craig… I like number two the best. My reason being that each line is separate from the others yet come together to paint, for me, a complete picture. I hear the muffled voices (a hospital waiting room) the redhead (the only redhead or a redhead alone in her thoughts (a loved one being operated on) empty glass (she has drank whatever and now, lost in her thoughts holds the glass absent-mindedly…

All three are good, I just like the brevity and clipped tone of #2.

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