‘Twas the night before Summer, when all through the lands
Not a creature was stirring, not even a lamb.
The baskets were hung from the patio with care,
in hopes that the Leaf Fairies soon would be there…
The bugs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of petunias danced in their heads.
Ruth the Tin Sunflower, and me, and my cat,
Had just settled our brains for a hot, muggy nap
When, from one patio down, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the railing I frightenedly dashed,
Tore-ass to the edge, quick as a flash.
The moon lit the alley, thus reflecting its glow
and cast mournful dread on the dark deck below.
When, what to my curious eyes should appear,
but a blood-curdling beast, absorbing all cheer.
With a snarled lip, this monster was quick,
I knew in a moment she had to be sick.
More rapid than gunfire, she cursed as she came.
She sputtered and shouted, she couldn’t refrain.
“Now asshole, you listen! You’re a boldface abuser!
Your flowers drop water and make you a loser!
From your porch to my porch and onto faux plants!
Your water drops drop and out come these rants!”
As still as a gnome, and so stunned was I,
when she ranted and raved and I couldn’t reply.
So on she went, her rage thick as stew,
with frothing, and stomping, and name calling, too.
I had no rebuttal, could do nothing but stare
at her tattered old plaid and her huge fuzzy hair.
My blood pressure boiled, spiked right to the roof,
and as fast as she came, she was gone with a poof.
© 2016, Anisa Claire. All rights reserved.
The author has granted WritersCarnival.ca, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.