The Pool part one

“It is the only way.”  His voice was calm, yet held a strength which dared to be trifled with.

“Yoma, you cannot go, for I fear the effects of an infringement on Slavarn territory are too great.  I am sorry.”

Yoma whirled and ended the councilman’s life right there.  He clenched his jaw, blood still dripping from his blade, trying to control his fear.  “Anyone else have anything to say?”

The council hall was quiet, astonishment and panic in most of the eyes Yoma looked into.

“I ask for no ones assistance,” he continued.  “And for no ones interference.  Am I clear?”  He directed his last words at the two remaining councilors.  They nodded dumbly.  “Good.”  Yoma fixed the crowd gathered with one more stare before he left the hall and didn’t look back.



“Why did you do it?”  Rey’s voice was soft.  “Was there no other way?”

“No.  They would have stopped me.”

“But you had to kill him?”

“I did what I thought I had to!”  Yoma spat, rounding on the woman next to him.  “I don’t know what’s happening!  I don’t know what I am supposed to do!  All I know is I must to everything I can to save my daughter!” He turned from her and slammed a fist onto the table in the room, then fell to both knees and wept.  “I… I don’t… Rey…”

She put her hands on his shoulders, gently caressing them.  “Shh.  Everything will be okay.  Vallia is strong.  Just like her father.”

Yoma sobbed, letting out all the tension and fear he could, but unable to be rid of the knot which was in his stomach.  After a few minutes he wiped his eyes and took a deep breath.  “I have to do it, Rey.  That pool will heal her.  It is the only way.  I have to.”

“I know you do.”  Rey gently pulled him to his feet, and turned him so he faced her.  She gently brushed his hair out of his face.  “Yoma, you do everything you must to save her. “

“It’s what I should have done for Catha.”

“Yoma, no!”  Rey’s voice grew firm.  “You did all you could for her, and no man could have done better, Vallia is proof of that.”  She drew him into her arms.  “She would be proud of you.”

“I leave tomorrow, at first light.  If anyone tries to stand in my way… I will kill them.”



Author Notes

5 Comments for “The Pool part one”

Kim Bussey


You peaked my curiosity. I want to know more about these people. I only have one edit for you (I’m a professional editor, BTW).

Dialogue tags: Spat, laughed, moaned, etc. None of these things can be done at the same time a person speaks. Besides, it’s telling, not showing. And you don’t need it. You convey that emotion very well with the ’rounding’ on Rey. Then slamming fists and dissolving into tears further tell the reader he went from angry to hopeless. It was an excellent way of letting the reader know the emotions going through this man without the ‘spat’ tag.

Raymond Tobaygo


Good morning, Zack

Enjoyed the read. Sounds as if Yoma is one individual you don’t want to cross…ever.
Looking forward to see what takes place next.
One observation:
( Yoma spat, rounding…what does rounding mean?) on the woman next to him.

Take care and stay safe,


Zachariah Barry


Thanks for the feedback Ray! “To round on someone” it is a U.K. verb meaning to snap, or verbally attack someone.

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