Haiku

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water singing

running over rocks

birth of a stream

 

white petals abound

carpeting a green lawn

the trees gift

 

the scent of growing

bees toil among the flowers

I invade the scene

 

seasons come and go

ever I keep watch

the silent vigil

 

assaulting my nose

heady aromas unleashed

the scented garden

 

curled brown leaves

caught in a gossamer web

the journey not over

 

draped in scarlet

standing tall and aflame

radiant Autumn


Author Notes

Some haiku from a recent ginko walk in the gardens around town. The scene in the picture inspired two of the poems

9 Comments for “Haiku”

says:

What a beautiful collection of Haiku, Craig. So much inspiration in Oz! The only suggestion I would make would be to take the “I” out of two of the Haiku, leaving the reader to personalize it themselves. In nature Haiku, most often it sets the scene for you to gaze at. Of course, you can do anything you want, just noticed it stopped my placid thoughts as I read through them all.

Write On!
Becky

says:

Thankyou Becky great tips and yes once we put ourselves into the frame so to speak we do take away from the natural aspect. The one about the statue could read
seasons come and go

ever keeping watch

the silent vigil

As for the bee scene my intention was to picture how I disturbed the scene as the the bees took off lol so I may leave it as is
Thank you for reading and taking the time to critique cheers

says:

That was exactly the change I could see work in that Haiku. The other one, I couldn’t think of how to portray the human invading the scene with other words. And, it works as it is.

I have a question for you regarding Haiku. I know that you don’t often follow the basic syllable form 5-7-5. What are the specifics on varying the syllable line counts? Is the ruling that it be three short lines depicting something in nature? I have been curious about this, as I have been afraid to vary the form myself.

says:

Great question Becky and one that I find is almost impossible to answer. Why because we write English Language Haiku and as such we do not see or feel nature as the japanese did or do and so we put our version in print. ELH can be one two or three lines. I stick to 3 my personal choice. If I can find it I read a wonderful essay on ELH on the Australian Haiku society website it was a wonderful piece which really breaks down a lot of the so called rules of haiku which really do hinder the art form. So I say to you Becky write what you feel about nature keep it brief keep it reverential and if you like throw away those rules and write your haiku as you do. This of course does not work when you see people putting up haiku competitions which stipulate you must use 575 you must juxtapose your images and include an haha moment etc etc these types of constraints hinder rather than expand haiku well at least to me. As you can see haiku do make people passionate as per my expamsive rant here cheers.

says:

You make me laugh, Craig…lol Yes, I can see you are VERY passionate about writing Haiku. So, I shouldn’t be afraid to vary the form a bit. I would be interested in reading that article if you find it. I enjoyed your response very much. Carry on with the Haikuing! 🙂

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