Fresh morning air spilled through the open passenger side window. The soft material of the seat rubbed against the upper part of my thigh as the truck sailed over the blacktop of the highway. Freedom. I breathed in, taking a moment to appreciate the moment. What was life… if not to be lived in the truest sense of the word?
Pondering where to go next, I leaned forward, lightly brushing the steering wheel. Music seemed appropriate at this point, so I turned the worn dial to the right, waiting for the sound to pour out from the crackling speakers. It didn’t matter that the sound wasn’t clear, nothing mattered except being present in that particular moment in time. I adjusted myself in the seat, sitting up straight as a new ‘hit’ song played in the background.
Trees, fields and houses whizzed by in my peripheral vision. My brain accounted for most of it, but much of the landscape escaped me. I stared forward, focused on leaving the past behind me. Happy didn’t do it justice. Ecstatic hardly reached my feeling of finally taking that step, packing my bags, and hitting the road… escaping it all.
My mobile phone vibrated beside me, pulling me out of the moment. The name of my doctor’s office flashed on the screen. My heart sped up, just a little, as my brain took it upon itself to flash through all the worst-case-scenarios. Why would they be phoning? I’d passed all my blood tests on the last visit.
I couldn’t handle the anticipation, so I pulled flicked my blinker, and slowly pulled over on the soft shoulder. Gravel crunched beneath the tires, such a soothing sound. I lifted the phone to my face, pressed the voicemail button, and put it up to my ear.
“Catherine, this is Amanda calling from Dr. Horrice’s office. Dr. Horrice decided to run your blood one more time, just to be on the safe side, and there are results you should probably know about. Call us at your earliest convenience, please.”
Without thinking, I dialed the doctor’s office. It rang once, and then Amanda picked up. “Hello, This is Dr.-”
“Hi Amanda. It’s Catherine. You just left me a message…” I trailed off.
“Oh, hi, Catherine! When are you available to come in?”
“I’m not,” I said, quickly. “I’ve left town and I’m not coming back. Can you just tell me over the phone?”
“Oh.” Amanda went silent. “Well, you know our policy…”
“I know, but I’ve been your patient for twenty years now. Surely this once…”
“I’m sorry to hear you won’t be coming here any longer, Catherine,” she said, pausing. “I hope everything works out for you! But maybe pick up a pregnancy test as soon as you can, just in case.”
My stomach dropped. I choked on my words, “Thank you, Amanda. I will. We’ll talk in the future, hopefully.” I hung up the phone.
Pregnant. With his child… My eyes burned, but I refused to cry. No, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I placed my foot on the gas pedal, turned my blinker on, and kept going.
I’d figure it all out later… some other day. Today I would live in the moment.
© 2016, Anisa Claire. All rights reserved.
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