I looked upon the turbulent storm and the sky that cried tears of lament. The drops streaked across the panes of glass with its familiar tapping beat. It was not loud enough to drown out the noise of my mind. My friend, my brother… my betrayer. I bore the weight of his mistakes, losing my dreams. He stole the dreams of the present and now he would take my future.

The wheels of my chair squeaked with the agony in my heart. From one side of the hall to the other. Back and forth. The physical manifestation of my mind, trapped in a maddening cycle. The crack of thunder broke me of the spell and I perused the pictures of days long past.

I was an athlete. It had been all I knew and all I dreamed. A legend in the making I would say but then… my friend, my brother…my betrayer. He was a fool. A disgrace to the family and envy lay in his heart. I could feel the contempt he held so close in his words of congratulations. Even now he would claim innocence, claim it was an “accident” but I know the truth.

He had been driving, speeding. I was a mere passenger, a bystander. It did not save me from his ploy. He would claim he hydro planed but I KNOW BETTER. The passenger side collided with the guard rail, crushing my pelvis and legs, ending my future that I had dreamed for so long. No more would he suffer the pain of envy.

The door creaked ever so softly into his room. The suspense of silence filled the room as he breathed his hush breath. He had taken my life from me. Hopes and dreams. The legend that I would have forged. The iron became heavy as I lifted the pistol and the hammer gave way to my demands with a click. “You stole my dream” and then I was no more.

It takes but a moment to change your life…

Author Notes

12 Comments for “Betrayer”


Hi John a few nits found so I recommend another edit sweep; that should fix them. Your flow is smooth and content very powerful. The calibre of your story is up there with the best. Great story great work. Pleased to read it. Thank you.

Mary Cooney-Glazer


You told a gripping story in few words. The emotion was real.
He took revenge on his brother by inflicting a lifetime of guilt. Great read. Mary


Holy shit!!! This is a brilliant story!!!!! I can’t say any more than that. My jaw is dropped. I totally get it. What a wonderful entry, John!

Welcome to Writer’s Carnival! We will be blessed to have you here. 🙂 I loved the line in capitals… “BUT I KNOW BETTER.”



Way to go, John. Nice twist at the end there. Anger definitely takes over if we let it.

Coupla recommendations:

* “I bared (bore) the weight of his mistakes…”

* ” A disgrace to the family and envy lied (lay) in his heart.”

Keep up the good writing!

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