Adjustment Time

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16 Comments for “Adjustment Time”

reigny dai


“…a fake smile with a side of bad attitude.” That sums up your average teenager, lol.
I caught a few wrinkles, but others already mentioned them.
Good writing


I was a high school choir teacher for many years so I could totally relate to this scenario with your student. Teaching is 50% content and 50% counselor in many cases…lol You did a great job of describing Anna and her problems.

-Ms. Bailey nodded, not trusting her voice, smil[ed](ing) through shimmering eyes as Anna gave her a quick hug and they both headed home with their hearts a little bit lighter.

Nice job!
Write On!


Oh thank you so much for your comments Becky! I love it that you were a music teacher and can relate. I majored in music with choir, girl’s ensemble, piano and voice lessons and loved it! I changed the nit and appreciate you noting it, thanks again!

Carol Moore


Just wonderful you made me cry, in a good way, compassion is always good. 🙂


Aww, thanks Carol! Must have definitely touched a deep part of you. Yes, you are absolutely right, compassion is a super good quality and sadly, in short supply sometimes. Thanks for the red and your sweet comments my friend!


Fun read. Your Anna is real and it’s easy to care about her.

Edit notes (take or leave as you see fit):

Mr. Edwards raised his bushy eyebrows and cleared his throat[,](.) “Young lady, you will watch your tone with me and you will sit down until I tell you we are through, understand?”

(While the) [The] students hurried out before Ms. Bailey changed her mind, [while](delete) Anna proudly headed toward her teacher [until she saw her expression; then her](Her) steps faltered (when she saw her expression).

“Thanks, Ms. Bailey, for wanting to help[;](.) I don’t know why you’d do for me when I haven’t done such a good job for you[,” Anna said](.” Anna) [guiltily as](delete) glanced around the unkempt classroom and hung her head.

Tim Hillebrant


Hi Marcia,

I really enjoyed this story, and found it to be exceptionally well written. You have a good grip on your characters, who they are, and the roles they play. You remind me of both my daughter, and some young women I went to church with long ago.

I did catch a couple nits, if i may- I don’t know why you’d do [that] (for) me when I haven’t been doing such a good job for you, [delete-that] (add- for). Might also think about replacing “haven’t been doing” with “haven’t done?” Seems a little shorter, maybe more natural for a teenage girl?

I loved the “Pay it Forward” message at the end- doesn’t happen often enough in this world, in my opinion. Very well done!!



Wow, thanks Tim for really nice review, I appreciate it. I am completely open to changing dialogue but a little confused. Should the new sentence read as follows:

“I don’t know why you’d do for me when I haven’t done such a good job for you?”

Just checking to make sure before I edit. Thanks again Tim!

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