Adjustment Time

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15 Comments for “Adjustment Time”

says:

I was a high school choir teacher for many years so I could totally relate to this scenario with your student. Teaching is 50% content and 50% counselor in many cases…lol You did a great job of describing Anna and her problems.

-Ms. Bailey nodded, not trusting her voice, smil[ed](ing) through shimmering eyes as Anna gave her a quick hug and they both headed home with their hearts a little bit lighter.

Nice job!
Write On!
Becky

says:

Oh thank you so much for your comments Becky! I love it that you were a music teacher and can relate. I majored in music with choir, girl’s ensemble, piano and voice lessons and loved it! I changed the nit and appreciate you noting it, thanks again!

says:

Fun read. Your Anna is real and it’s easy to care about her.

Edit notes (take or leave as you see fit):

Mr. Edwards raised his bushy eyebrows and cleared his throat[,](.) “Young lady, you will watch your tone with me and you will sit down until I tell you we are through, understand?”

(While the) [The] students hurried out before Ms. Bailey changed her mind, [while](delete) Anna proudly headed toward her teacher [until she saw her expression; then her](Her) steps faltered (when she saw her expression).

“Thanks, Ms. Bailey, for wanting to help[;](.) I don’t know why you’d do for me when I haven’t done such a good job for you[,” Anna said](.” Anna) [guiltily as](delete) glanced around the unkempt classroom and hung her head.

Tim Hillebrant

says:

Hi Marcia,

I really enjoyed this story, and found it to be exceptionally well written. You have a good grip on your characters, who they are, and the roles they play. You remind me of both my daughter, and some young women I went to church with long ago.

I did catch a couple nits, if i may- I don’t know why you’d do [that] (for) me when I haven’t been doing such a good job for you, [delete-that] (add- for). Might also think about replacing “haven’t been doing” with “haven’t done?” Seems a little shorter, maybe more natural for a teenage girl?

I loved the “Pay it Forward” message at the end- doesn’t happen often enough in this world, in my opinion. Very well done!!

Tim

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